カラクリ・アゲハ

...I am so sorry.

Sat, 14 Jul 2012 00:03:36 -0400

So uh, this dates back to my high school days when my best friend and I were bored in English class, so we wrote the start of a smutty romance novel. …You really don’t want to know ~~but I don’t know where else to put this~~.

Like a random bystander watching a well dressed gentleman tumble ungracefully down seven flights of stairs, the student had walked into an incredibly awkward situation. In front of him was a woman sitting in a chair, as women tend to do. However, the difference here is that she was in the middle of removing her clothing. The door was closed. The blinds were shut. There was no escape from this councillors’s office. The student could only watch as the councillor slowly removed her blouse to reveal… another blouse. This sexy councillor made sure to always dress prepared.

She took off her glasses; eyes full of lust. The councillor had smouldering green eyes (although they were actually kinda more greenish brown, only not really. Just like those trees at the side of the highway that no one really pays attention to). Breathing heavily, the councillor leaned forward a bit and asked in a sexyish raspy voice (as if she smoked 8 packs a day)

“Can I help you… sir?” (the pause made it extra sexy.)

The student vaguely wondered why this gorgeous woman who looked like a blonde version of Jennifer Tilly was being so personal with him. In fact, the student was confused in the first place.

He had only come to the office to ask for extra bandaids since the club he was in (the cross stitch, embroidery and knitting club) was all out of them. Someone was bleeding to death in the Home Ec. room due to a scarf gone wrong and the student wanted to save them as soon as possible.

He had no idea why the receptionist had sent him to the smokin’ hot councillor’s office, but he assumed it was because she was fresh out of rehab. This incident aside, she was doing pretty well for a recovering addict. He decided to forgive her confusion this time and turned his attention back to see if the rather attractive woman in front of him could help him.

“Do you hash any bandiash?” The student asked, his multiple sets of braces giving him a Sean Connery accent. “Shomeone’sh bleedin.’”

“Oh my,” The councillor replied, pretending (rather obviously) to swoon “I do loooooooooove foreigners. You must be from Bosania.” She breathed, fanning her blouse in a VERY OBVIOUS display of cleavage.

The student blushed despite himself. He was flattered by the councillor despite her complete lack of any cultural education whatsoever. “How about you and I voulez vous coucher avec moi?” She sighed, using a terribly inaccurate French accent and equally horrible grammar. Simultaneously, she leaned over the table at a 38 degree angle, thus showing more unnecessary cleavage. Unfortunately for her, the student was in Spanish and could not understand her words. He shifted awkwardly in place and answered her with

“Uh, no. I don’t need an extra coush. Thanksh.”

The student was growing increasingly uncomfortable with the councillor’s forwardness and terrible linguistic skills. “If you excush me, I’ll have to be going…” he said, moving nervously away from where he had previously been standing. Suddenly, the councillor grabbed his arm and gripped it with the strength of a fat child holding a candy bar.

“We could do it. Right here. Right now.” She panted, showing EVEN MORE cleavage then humanly possible. “You don’t even have to be conscious for it.”

The student was freaked out by her actions. He told her firmly,

“Mish, I only came here for bandaish.”

While breaking her grip like a less Asian version of Bruce Lee, he slowly began inching towards the door. Victory was only millimetres away, but then the councillor sprung to action with all of the grace of a grasshopper that was missing one of it’s legs. She leapt over the table and threw herself desperately over the door.

Her breath accelerated once again, like a rhinoceros giving birth.

“I’ve always wanted you, Fernando,” she said, firmly blocking the door with her arms spread like a starfish on crack “Ever since that day I saw you in the office, applying for an inhaler. Respiratory breathing problems just get me hot.”

Now, the student’s name was not actually Fernando (or anything close to it really. His real name was Jimothy. Jim for short), and to make matters worse, there was something frightening about the way that the councillor kept whipping her hair back and forth like a teenager trying too hard at a metal concert. She huffed and puffed like a wolf on steroids, as the student’s obviously terrified face got her hot and bothered.

For Jim, it was like a C list horror movie. It all happened in slow motion and there were far too many blonde women who couldn’t act very well involved. Now Jim couldn’t handle horror movies (they gave him nightmares), so he knew that he HAD to get out of there and fast.

anaaga: For the FINAL Glory! METANORN enters the final round of...

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 22:41:13 -0400

anaaga:

For the FINAL Glory!

METANORN enters the final round of the Aniblog Tourney, and we need your help in the final ~~war~~ round!

Help us win by VOTING FOR METANORN!

Go go METANORN!

<3

Photo

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 02:27:06 -0400

Shota Nova is just so… HNNGGG… I can’t…...

Tue, 03 Jul 2012 02:10:03 -0400

Shota Nova is just so… HNNGGG… I can’t… even…

foshizzel: Metanorn needs your votes in the anime blog tourney!...

Tue, 03 Jul 2012 01:59:22 -0400

foshizzel:

Metanorn needs your votes in the anime blog tourney! The end is very close, but check out the other blogs and choose for yourself thank you!

http://aniblogtourney.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/semi-finals-2/

WHY. щ(ಥДಥщ) His route would have been so much easier to get...

Sun, 17 Jun 2012 16:40:36 -0400

WHY. щ(ಥДಥщ) His route would have been so much easier to get through if he had hair.

…Mondo totally has a statue of his daughter in his room....

Sun, 17 Jun 2012 16:27:00 -0400

…Mondo totally has a statue of his daughter in his room. Lolwut.

anaaga: This beat the original opening of Another… Happy and NO...

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 13:32:35 -0400

anaaga:

This beat the original opening of Another… Happy and NO ALI PROJECT!

ﾌﾟｯ(※థэథ)∵.*.∵

ﾌﾟｯ(※థэథ)∵.*.∵ I know that Koko’s team all need to be fit,...

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 22:46:10 -0400

ﾌﾟｯ(※థэథ)∵.*.∵ I know that Koko’s team all need to be fit, but LOL they all have 6 pack abs.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, I had a...

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 15:45:07 -0400

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, I had a pokemon. Second, there was a part of me - and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be - that wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was. Third, Gary Oak was unconditionally and irrevocably a douchenozzle.

How old are you?

“ten”

How long have you been ten?

“…”

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TEN

Misty looked at Ash, his breathing still heavy from carrying her on his bike as fast as he could through the long grass outside of Pallet Town.

“You’re eyes are impossibly huge and black,” Misty said. “Your hair is… incredibly pointy, and doesn’t need product. Your face changes size and shape based on your feelings… and sometimes you speak like - like you’re from the 90’s. You never spend money on anything; you don’t go to the bathroom.”

The silence hung there, thick and heavy like a Snorlax blocking the bike path.

“How old are you?” Misty asked, not sure if she wanted to know.

“Ten,” Ash replied, with a slight smirk and an almost amused tone.

Misty new that wasn’t true. Ash wasn’t like the other boys her age. He wasn’t even like her older sisters who ran the gym in Cerulean City. He was wiser and his passion was genuine.

Ash didn’t just want to catch them all, he needed to. He was going to be the best there ever was no matter how long it took, which gave Misty this nagging in the back of her mind. She had to know for sure.

“How long have you been ten?” she asked. Her voice weak, knowing full well the answer could change everything she thought she knew.

“A while…” Ash said. His voice trailing off, as if he were losing himself in a flood of memories.

Misty let out a faint gasp. She knew now. She was certain.

“I know what you are,” she declared, as if whatever had been holding her back from accepting the truth, finally let go of her hand and let her fall right down the Diglett hole.

Ash eyes were alive now, flickering like the flame on a Charmander’s tale.

He stared right into her and said, ”Say it… out loud. Say it.”

Misty’s heart was pounding louder than the thud of a Marowak’s bone club attack.

Despite the now eerily silent meadow, she could barely be heard as she whispered, “Pokemon Trainer.”

creed-assassino: Part 1 of some of the pictures I got on my...

Thu, 31 May 2012 14:23:23 -0400

creed-assassino:

Part 1 of some of the pictures I got on my iPhone!

I’m the Ryoji fyi

I’ve been waiting for this xD

Holy crap, look at the texture on my DS screen Yamato is clearly...

Sat, 26 May 2012 00:32:37 -0400

~~Holy crap, look at the texture on my DS screen~~

~~Yamato is clearly the most problematic of my mass harem~~

~~Bitch please~~

Ladies, ladies. Don’t fight. There’s plenty MC to go around for everyone.

…I wish I could go back to my innocent days of youth where...

Wed, 23 May 2012 23:06:17 -0400

…I wish I could go back to my innocent days of youth where I could watch two guys punch each other without assuming it was bromance.

I ask myself this daily

Wed, 23 May 2012 22:40:22 -0400

I ask myself this daily

….This is a test

Mon, 21 May 2012 22:23:00 -0400

….This is a test